Inching towards midnight. It must be time for another blog post.
I am not the first person to completely switch careers and trajectories in their life. In fact, I think it’s probably becoming the norm. We are all just searching for something – anything – other than the usual 9-to-5 misery that so many of us accept as the way it is. It’s not. We can get, and deserve, more.
For me, it’s been yes and no, bright and dark. I am thrilled, ecstatic, and mesmerized by the potential that stretches before me. I am terrified, petrified, and scared of the equally monumental potential for failure that this endeavour carries with it. For me. For my son. Parts of me question the validity of my decision to forfeit security and a guaranteed paycheck for the enormous question mark that is freelance writing. Parts of me want nothing more than the simple confirmation of loved ones that I can do this. That I have the drive, skill, and ambition to make this work. Maybe it’s wrong to need that. Maybe it’s not the right mindset going in to all this. But I can’t help feeling that way.
Many of my friends and family have given me just that. It gives me the strength and smile needed to believe I can make a go of this. Some of them have not, and it cuts me to the core of who I am and who I believe I can be. I wish I had the strength of character at this stage to find my way without them. To simply know I do not need their approval. Sadly, I am not there yet. It destroys me.
I am. I can. I will. But not without many sleepless nights and fights. I love my nay-sayers wholeheartedly. I just wish they could see me the way I see myself…