Tired of sounding like a corporate handbook? I fix that.

you’ve come to the right place.

Words and language may not be your thing. But they are mine.

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meet bryan

Full-time writer, part-time comic, unapologetic beer snob, porphyrophile, & dad to Dylan, Aodhan, & Saoirse.

Words, Words, words.

Services

Wit, Wisdom, and Web Results

Whether you’re launching a new venture or revitalizing a legacy brand, I build online spaces that command attention rather than just occupying it. Your copy should do the heavy lifting of motivating your audience while maintaining a distinctly human voice.

With 13 years of professional expertise, I combine a background in education and stand-up comedy to ensure your message strikes a chord—not a snooze button.

I bring the pen, the punchlines, and the precision to get the job done.

Let’s Collaborate

Most business articles feel like they were written by a robot with a migraine, but your digital presence needs a pulse. I turn your industry expertise into the kind of storytelling people actually enjoy reading, stopping the scroll before they wander back to social media.

My background in stand-up comedy and teaching ensures I can hold a crowd without the stiff jargon that usually puts audiences to sleep. Your website is your digital front door, so let’s make sure the conversation inside is one worth staying for.

HubSpot’s 2025 State of Blogging Report

Brand Voice: How to Craft a Compelling Tone That Attracts Your Ideal Customers

5 Marketing Fundamentals That Still Work in 2026

The Power of a Good Story

Social media is the world’s loudest cocktail party, and most brands are the guy standing in the corner talking about his insurance premiums. I ensure you’re the voice people actually want to hear. Blending my background in stand-up comedy with a writer’s precision, I turn your feeds into a destination instead of a distraction.

We’ll skip the generic “Happy Monday” posts and build a community that sticks around for the personality, not just the product. Your brand has a voice—I just make sure it’s the one everyone is quoting at the water cooler.

Social Media Sharing: The Psychology of Why We Share

What is a brand community and how to build a successful one

The 18 social media trends to shape your 2026 strategy

2026 Social Media Demographics: Which Platforms to Prioritize

Your subscribers’ inboxes are digital junk drawers, and most marketing emails are just more clutter. I make sure your messages are the ones people actually open to enjoy rather than just to hit delete. By mixing comedic timing with narrative tension, I turn standard announcements into stories that build genuine trust without the high-pressure sales pitches.

We’ll give your audience a reason to look forward to seeing your name in their notifications, turning a quick click into a lasting connection.

Email Marketing Benchmarks and Metrics

23 Email Marketing Tips to Improve Open & Clickthrough Rates

3 Storytelling Emails That Make People Want More

White papers shouldn’t be a cure for insomnia. I take your complex data and transform it into a narrative that proves your value without putting your prospects to sleep. By weaving my background in teaching and comedy into high-stakes research, I make sure your success stories feel like a victory lap instead of a math lecture.

We’ll skip the dry, academic drones and build a case for your business that’s as entertaining as it is evidentiary. Your expertise is the hero; I just make sure the script is worth a standing ovation.

Yes, White Papers Are Still Essential for B2B Marketers

The Case for Case Studies: Why They Still Matter

I’ve written on everything from blockchain to zinc neutering. And now I want to write for you.

Pen, Puns, and Performance

Bryan Johnston is a recovering high school English and drama teacher who swapped the whiteboard for the comedy club and the keyboard. After a twelve-year international detour through China and Dubai, he returned to Canada to become a professional ghostwriter and a (semi) regular on the southern Ontario comedy circuit.

A UBC-trained actor and founding member of the improv duo Springtime Majestic, Bryan has performed at comedy festivals including Guelph and Portland, Maine. When he isn’t crafting copy or dodging hecklers, he’s usually hunting for the perfect craft beer or hanging out with his Portuguese water dog, Edwin. He lives for sharp wit, highland cows, planning his next trip, and making sure your story sounds like a human instead of a handbook.

Catch his latest sets and tips on Instagram @bryankj.

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“Bryan is an excellent writer! He has a real (and rare) talent for capturing the distinctive voice and tone of different clients in his copywriting. He is excellent at synthesizing complex concepts and transforming them into strategic and accessible content deliverables. 10/10 would recommend!”
Kristy Guthrie-Roth

Founder & Principal Strategist, Bright Light Digital

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“Bryan is an extreme joy to work with. Not only is the turn-around quick, but the craftsmanship he puts into his work is exceptional. Bryan definitely has a special talent transforming a simple or complex concept into useful and enjoyable communication that is exactly what your target audience is looking for.”
Tomasz Borys

VP of Marketing, Deep Sentinel